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“Christmas Parties”

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The events of that story and its characters are not related to reality, and any resemblance between them and real life is a path of madness.

I ask you not to read those words. Above all, these words come from a crazy old woman!

Today I woke up after a long night’s sleep, my weary eyes opening to the sight of nature through the large window beside my bed. I saw the March 2024 sun shining its orange rays upon the land of my beloved Ireland. How I adore this view! I could see the sun spreading its beams over the distant green hills. I sat on my bed, smiling as I admired this bright scene.

I am wearing loose, white hospital clothes. It’s been a long time since I Fdyed my hair – it’s been over a year! And this morning, as I looked in the mirror, I saw a significant amount of hair that had turned white. I haven’t used wrinkle cream in a long time; my face has been affected by sagging, lines, and brown spots!

I looked in the mirror and saw another version of myself, as long marks appeared on my neck, and my skin had become very thin. I ran my fingers over my face and then my neck; I saw my hand in the mirror, pale, my skin becoming somewhat translucent, and thick green veins appearing.

So, I reached out my hand to grab the comb and carefully combed my white hair. I washed my face and dried it with a towel, revealing a delightful red tint on my thin nose and cheeks. My mood improved, so I went straight to my desk and papers to write down all the aforementioned words and what’s to come! The purpose of these words is to tell you about my devilish adventure on New Year’s Eve for the year 2024, but let me first introduce myself…

I am simply a spiritual being first and foremost. I believe in all that is invisible. I am in my sixties. I believe in tarot readings or spiritual communication and energy sciences. I believe in Christ, the Torah, the Gospel, the Quran, God, and His angels.

I assure you that I have spent most of my life building a very impressive career path with an extraordinary shine. However, I left all of that behind and married very late, and my husband and I were blessed with a truly wonderful son.

Perhaps my sudden decision to change my life upside down and get married was driven by my fear of dying alone. And maybe my belief in all that is invisible after marriage was a reactionary response to my feeling of emptiness and disappointment post-marriage, and the collapse of my emotional dreams. As my husband was spending most of his time away from home at work. And now I know that the decision to quit my job because of marriage was a wrong decision.

We were living in Ireland. Every morning, I used to wake up and wake my husband up to start preparing for another repetitive workday. As for me, I used to straighten my hair carefully, which was then a light brown color tinged with yellow. Of course, this wasn’t its true color; I just wanted to cover the white hair that was obscuring my features. I used to wear my elegant, loose, colorful clothes and sunglasses.

I used to leave our big house and walk until I reached a small café near our house, which was on Saint Patrick Street. They were welcoming me with a cheerful face. As usual, I used to order a full Irish breakfast. I used to eat them eagerly while listening to songs on the restaurant’s radio. The restaurant was old with yellow walls adorned with many old paintings, and some old mirrors to give a sense of space. The chairs were old-fashioned, with a large wooden backrest, and there was a wooden couch covered with small pillows. The back of the couch was supported by a glass window, so when I was sitting on it, I was feeling as if I were sitting on Saint Patrick Street. And at the same time, I was enjoying the warmth, the quiet music, and the whispers of other customers inside. After that, I used to order coffee and drink it outside of the coffee shop while enjoying the wonderful view, where I could see the trees of St. Patrick’s Park in the near horizon.

At that time, and for a long time, Hitler’s personality was catching my mind, so I reread his book “Mein Kampf” for the second, third, and fourth time in this café! And this question was pressing on me: Why haven’t we seen, to this day, in this vast world with its different nationalities, cultures, and religions, a personality who believes in goodness as Hitler believed so strongly in himself, with all his madness and fanaticism? And the bigger question was why the pursuit of peace and love seemed invisible to this extent, unheard and unprofitable in this world!

My wonderment would increase every time I saw or heard news of wars or remembered the famines in Somalia, for example. But leaving all these questions without any logical answers was making me head to St. Patrick’s Cathedral, where Gerald Fitzgerald’s gate and peace is. So, around nine in the morning, I used to go head to St. Patrick’s Park and then to St. Patrick’s Cathedral to enjoy the morning service. I used to love listening to the choir there very much because the place was like a clear second heaven that used to dispel all those questions and made me feel that there is still hope in life for love and world peace. I used to enjoy the beautiful angelic voices, and my peace doubled, and my confidence in the power of peace and love used to increase more than my fear of wars and selfishness.

At other times, I used to get into my car and drive to another building on one of the adjacent streets. I would enter the building and go up the stairs and walk along a long hallway adorned with dark red carpet where I could only hear silence. I knew the apartment number very well; it was 22. I used to knock on the door, and the fortune-teller would open it for me. But this time (and this time specifically changed the course of my life upside down!!).

To be continued ….

By ساره عزت

ان لم ينعم الكاتب بالفائده والتعلُم من كتاباته فلم ينعم بالفائدة أحد

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